What does being a Gem mean to you?

I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point in time, one’s zodiac sign became more than just a cute theory or idea. At some point, it became a truth; a guide, for pretty much everything. A basis in which we judge ourselves and others, how we carry ourselves and make decisions; How we interact with the universe that surrounds us.  Today, your sign can say more about you than where you came from or where you’ve been. It is a significant characteristic, a very telling personality trait. This being said, in this universe with its ever so-subtle navigation, it is imperative you get in touch with your sign, your planetary guide. So embrace it baby, there ain’t no point in fighting. 

Luckily for me I am a Gemini loud and proud and in honor of the szn of the twins, I feel compelled to ask the question: What does being a Gem mean to me?

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Though we may not get as bad of a rap as some of the other signs out there *ahem* Scorpios I’m looking at you, we Geminis have had our fair share of criticism. Quickly labeled as split or “two-faced”, many of us are judged as deceptive or fake. But that theory couldn’t be further from the truth. To me, being a Gemini, means being well-rounded, relatable, having the ability to see many perspectives. Our highly inquisitive mind and sensitive nature allows us the empathy that many other signs lack. So, though we may be guilty of having more than enough personalities, using them to connect rather than to deceive, makes us one powerful force.

Ever-wavering, being a Gemini to me, means overcoming constant hurdles. You know, the kind you place in front of yourself. Our constant need to bounce from thought to thought can make it hard to stayed focused on just one goal. Interested in, well, pretty much everything, we can find it hard to choose just one focus. Because of this, being a Gemini means being in constant struggle with one’s self. The twins playing tug of war. Pulling you in all directions. Requiring us more energy than most, to buckle down and follow through.

Oh, and we’re so. damn. chatty. And trust, it ain’t easy to turn off. You know when you have that one last colada? That last one that’s going to send you over the edge? You know when you’re buzzin’ just a little too much. Sis, that’s being a Gemini ALL THE TIME. We have 9,000 things going on in our heads at one time and we just want to talk about it. To you. All the time. Where else is it all supposed to go?! We can’t keep it up in that pretty little head of ours – there’s no room! To me, being a Gemini means verbose, but with intention. We just want to understand, to connect.

Being a Gem ain’t easy. There’s a lot going on up in that brain of ours.

And the struggle is real.

For me, the mind of a Gemini prepares you for the ambiguity and inconsistency of life. The stopping and starting, the ups and downs, the constant state of ‘going with the flow’. We certainly aren’t perfect, but godDAMN we’re good!

It’s Gemini SZN, y’all. And frankly, it’s about time.

If you have a Gemini in your life, then you should consider yourself #blessed. The mutable air sign ruled by Mercury is known for its chatty intellect, curiosity and quick-wit. The sign of the twins, Geminis are said to have two personalities, relating to others almost instinctively and getting along with pretty much everyone. Social butterflies who will charm the socks off you. Like I said #blessed.

The Queen and her royalty.

The Queen and her royalty.

Sometimes described as ‘flighty’, or inconsistent, this air sign is as ever-changing as the wind. Which, HOLD UP, somehow always seems to be described as a bad thing. I, however, feel this is one of our many strengths.

Hear me out; Wind – when it isn’t swirling around you at 100 mph in a deadly funnel – it can be… refreshing.

Freeing, liberating.

An element of wind, Gemini’s are a breath of fresh air. Yes, we may sway. We may occasionally lose conviction, but in always remaining true to our [most current] -selves, you know our intentions are pure. #wereoneoftherealones

Ruled by Mercury, the planet of information and technology, Geminis are inquisitive in nature. They are always analyzing, forever-wondering, never not thinking. Also, let us not forget that Mercury, due to its closeness to the sun, is said to be ‘the messenger of the gods.’

So basically, were very wise and we never shut up.

Our strengths are that we are curious, adaptable, we can learn and pick up things quickly, are intelligent, affectionate, honest, and very, very blunt. #yourewelcome

Our weaknesses are that we are dreamers, nervous, indecisive, inconsistent, hopping from one thing to the next, can have trouble finishing something we start, and are very, very blunt. #sorrynotsorry

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So, what do we need to know about Gemini season?

For my fellow Gems – Just keep being you, baby. But watch yourself sis, from my experience, the season only magnifies our Gemini-like qualities – both the best and the worse ones. You may find yourself more scatterbrained than normal, more back and forth on even the most trivial things. Finding a way to re-center and focus your mind is crucial this time of year.

And for everyone else – It’s time to embrace your inner Gemini! Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it seems. Though you may feel more absent-minded than usual, easily distracted and hard to focus on one thing, this season comes with heightened curiosity and wondering. This is the time to be open to the universe and experience, question and learn, engage and be open, now is the time to give into your childlike curiosities and indulge. Asking questions that you may not typically think to ask will only give you a new perspective. And because of this, the universe is sure to reward you.

The Sanctity That Is Girls Night

Girls Night.

The two words, on their own, merely words, but put them together and you’ve got yourself the most sacred of all things.

Solidarity; A coming together of one.

And in this time of what looks like the beginning of the plot to ‘Handmaid’s Tale’, isn’t this when we need it most?

To gather with your sisters and recharge. Self-care in its truest form.

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This isn’t about face masks, bath bombs, or wine. (Well it is a little bit about wine) And it doesn’t cost a thing. It is a time solely dedicated to talking shit with your gals, solving unexplained mysteries, smoking too much, drinking too much, and eating more than you ever knew you could.

It is a time to assemble.

To vent, to cry, to scream, to think, to talk, to imagine. To create energy that uplifts and empowers.

Coming together to discuss what inspires you, moves you, encourages you. What feeds your soul. Some of my fondest gn memz were coming together with our crafts, our papers and pens, our needles and thread, our poems, our tools, our ideas. In a space that cultivates creativity.

A place to grow.

And because each girl group is unique and beautiful in their own way, there is no right or wrong way to host girls night. However, some elements are, I’m afraid, essential. And for this reason, I have compiled a list of the most important - and non-negotiable of them all.

Elements of a successful Girl’s night:

1. Lizzo, Beyonce, Kali and Solange. Or anything that gets you ugly dancing with your very best Grumpy Cat face. Because, if you’re not ugly dancing in the kitchen, are you even dancing?

RIP Grumpy Cat, may you give them hell up there in Cat Heaven.

RIP Grumpy Cat, may you give them hell up there in Cat Heaven.

2. Your most stylish pjs, sweats, or lounge wear. You want to dress for comfort, people. First rule of Girl Night: No Food Left Behind. Leftovers, what? Leave your Tupperware at home babies, absolutely everything must be eaten.

3. Wine on wine on wine. Pink wine, red wine, white wine, boxed wine. There is no room for discrimination at girls night. And no room for picky drinkers.

4. Chips on chips on chips. See #3.

5. Book of potions and spells. These are optional, though, you’ll find quite handy for a wide range of scenarios. Old lovers, new lovers, people who are rude to the innocent old cashier at Whole Foods, for no reason. You know, the usual.

6. Crafts/art/passion project. This is the time that should be spent doing what you love with others. Bring your poems, your sketches, your plans and ideas. Like I said, cultivate creativity. This is the ideal environment to do so. You’re in an honest and loving circle of trust.

7. Jonathon Van Ness. Whether it’s via Podcast, Netflix, or cardboard cutout. Jvn should be present for every and all planned Girls Night as the guiding light and voice of reason.

So, find your crew, your pack, your coven. Organize a time and place, and most importantly follow through. It can be easy to find yourself on your night off sunken into the bed, underneath piles of blankets with only enough arm room to move from the bag of Cheetos to your horribly orange stained mouth.

Get up, dust off …maybe put on a little mascara - you never know what kind of photo ops the evening may bring - and make it to your scheduled group therapy, girlfriend! You’ll love yourself more after for doing so.

#tb to last Monday’s gn OMG I can’t believe I found this pic of us.

#tb to last Monday’s gn OMG I can’t believe I found this pic of us.

[Correction: When first writing this post, I thought it was called ‘Handmaiden’s Tale’ and upon googling, realized it is actually ‘Handmaid’s Tale’, so I apologize to everyone I’ve carried on lengthy conversations with about the show, and I applaud you all for your ability to listen respectfully and never correct me. Also wtf, you should’ve corrected me.]

Saturns in Retrograde ya'll... and we don't really know how we feel about it

Last Tuesday the universe shifted and someone from my past, ever so thoughtfully shoved his way into my present.

He Who Shall Not Be Named was someone I had met during a very chaotic time in my life and rather than give me strength and comfort he only added to my chaos; weakening and derailing me. We hadn’t spoken to each other in over a year. And the last time we had I was left crying like a lunatic on the very busy, very crowded streets of Melbourne. At rush hour. On a Friday.

Not my finest hour.

In that moment, he looked at me and didn’t flinch. He couldn’t care less. And regardless of his intention, insignificant is how it left me feeling. And for a long time after that.

Obviously, I got over it because fuck boys come and go, but dignity lasts forever. And so…

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So, last Tuesday, when Satan reached out with the casual DM, ‘Looking through old pictures, good memories…’ and other bullshit, it felt like the universe had just thrown a giant rock at my face.

It wasn’t until a few days later, that while sharing this new information with one of the gurlz, she suddenly became wide-eyed, sat straight up, and declared, “Katy, Saturn is in Retrograde.” To which I stopped devouring my sushi like a wild dog and asked, “Okay, and that means…?” 

After much discussion and research, I discovered - it’s all about Karma baby.

According to Astrology.com, “Saturn is the great malefic. Known for its serious, cold, and sometimes harsh influence, it is the planet that rules time, karma, responsibility, and wisdom.”

Damn gurl, you’re powerful.  

They also state that while retrograde for other planets means a weakening of their qualities, for Saturn, it’s “boundaries and limiting powers are actually enhanced – often bringing outdated lessons and reality checks. When the Lord of Karma retrogrades, karmic debts are sorted out by blending the past with the present and future.” 

Though the phrase ‘karmic debts’ undoubtedly sounds like a bad thing, the article goes on to read that both good and bad karma will be sorted – so if you’re not a piece of shit, there’s still hope.

Which begs the question,

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Turns out, a number of people I know have been going through similar experiences during this oh so, magical time. Where someone, or something, that was left unresolved, ambiguous, or unbalanced, has come back into their lives. And quite unexpectedly.

Then, what, dear universe, are you trying to teach me from this unwelcome intruder?

And what responsibilities do we, as players in this life, have during this time of Karmic retribution?

“I think the universe is handing you a little gift.” my friend claimed, matter-of-factly. “And this is your time to answer the call. Give him your worse, karma never sleeps.”

God, I love her.

But stepping back, I have to ask myself, what is my responsibility in all of this? To teach this person a lesson? To respond so cutting and cold, it would be impossible for him to ignore? To feel good, only for a minute, by making him feel awful? It can’t be.

Maybe, in this instance, the universe is the teacher, not me.

I have been given this gift, this sign, this test, this.. whatever it is, to see how far I’ve come. I don’t need to bring him down, only to make myself feel better. And I don’t need to try and explain and help him become a better person. It is not my responsibility to do so. Rather, to listen to what the universe is trying to tell me.

And what I believe it is trying to tell me is: March on.

Continue on. Look at how far you’ve come. Look at the shit you had to wade through. Remember how brutal? Remember how unfair and impossible it all felt? You made it, girl. And you cannot forget where you’ve come from and the progress you’ve made.

Here is your gift: A lesson learned. A reminder that you have gotten through the impossible. AKA: Good Karma. #thankyouverymuch

And for all you babies out there, going through a similar period of confusion and ambiguity, of pasts coming into light, of relearning old lessons, try to remember that though it may not feel good - I think it rarely does - within these uncomfortable instances, lay hidden gifts, helpful lessons, good karma ready and waiting. If you’re a good person, with good intent, this is the only way to see it. The only way it makes sense.

So pat yourself on the back, ol’ gal.

A bit of good/bad news: it looks like retrograde lasts until September 18th. Which means, this is only the beginning. Saddle up guys and gals, it’s going to be a summer filled with life lessons, both easy and hard. And maybe a few tough pills to swallow along the way. But by opening yourself up to the possibility that the universe is guiding us in the right direction, rather than working against us, the pills become a bit easier to swallow, the hurt a little easier to bare. Trust in the process; in the universe, and in doing so, you’ll find yourself right where you need to be.